Morning, Mommy!

This morning I am big, fat thankful for coffee.

I was the last one up in my house today. Terry played with the kids and let me sleep late. As soon as I stumbled from my bedroom and sat down, 2 yr old Caleb came up to me and stuck his face an inch from mine. He whispered, "Wake up?"
I whispered back, "Yes."
He said in a hushed voice, "Now, drink coffee?"

Little eyes are always watching and they see what I do and hear what I say. What else might I be remembered for someday?



H

Procrastinating Peace

Something was bothering me tonight and I felt some unrest. I thought, "As soon as I pray about it, I know I'll get peace over the situation."

But my next thought was, "I think I'll watch Big Brother first."

What's that about? When we know we can go to God and find love and peace that we need, why do we put it off?

I opened up my prayer journal, wrote some chicken scratch and felt better just having shared how I felt with God. It really is that simple. Why do we make it hard?

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!!

Did you know I majored in Journalism? That probably doesn't mean much, does it? A lot of people choose careers outside of their educational backgrounds. So sharing my college major probably doesn't tell you much about me, does it?

Here's what you can assume...

 

This chick likes to write.

That's a pretty safe assumption, and if you guessed it, you'd be right on the money! Some people dream in color, some people talk with their hands. I think in short novels. The English language and I have a long-lived fascination with each other. We've got a sort of arrangement between the two of us-- as long as I promise to keep blurting out the thoughts that roam in my head, the language I need to express them will always be there!

It's true. I've got plenty of thoughts on every subject under the sun and plenty of words in my vocabulary to share those thoughts. Just ask my husband.

 

So, how does it happen that a girl who loves to write and loves God, takes nearly 30 years to conclude that it's possible to merge the two? 

I've heard about a man who merged his love of basketball and God to make Hoops of Hope. And here's the result of merging a love for beauty treatments and God. And here's the workings of an interest in adoption and a desire to love God's people.

I'm not trying to make excuses, but writing for God doesn't seem so easy. I mean, I can love putting pen to paper all I want, but if what I write isn't any good, and there's no one to read it, what does it matter? Well, to God, the one whom I'm trying to please, it matters a lot.

So, this is me, saying... I'm just gonna keep filling journals and blogs with my thoughts until God's plan is revealed. If nothing ever comes of me giving in to God and allowing Him room to move in this area, then I'll be ok with that. Because, in the meantime, being obedient and available to my Lord and King is pretty fantastically rewarding in itself!

No Nook Notes!

Terry and I co-lead a small group at church. "Small group" seems to be a relatively new term in the church vernacular but it's really just a smaller, more intimate version of Sunday School. And in our case, it happens during the week, not on Sundays.

This past week we were starting a new study on Ecclesiastes. I have been reading this Old Testament book in my quiet time for a few months now. I just kept reading it over and over and soon I was excited by the idea of discussing it in our small group. I read 2 commentaries on the book and watched several videos of a study on it. So, I was well-prepared when I showed up to group with my Bible and commentary- both of which were on my Nook. The Nook is an e-reader that, in my opinion is the 2nd greatest invention after the internet (insert appropriate & over-used Al Gore joke here.). My Nook, and the 60+ books on it, is full of highlighted sections and my own personal notes and insights on every topic under the sun-- Notes on recipes in cook books, notes on tricks of the trade in homeschooling manuals, and yes, plenty of notes on Ecclesiastes. 

You're dying to get your own Nook now, aren't you? I am getting no money from Barnes and Noble for the promotion of this product, I promise! It's just a fantastic tool!

...Except when it doesn't work...

At the start of our last small group, I realized that somehow all of my notes were gone! Completely wiped away! When I realized that I would be winging the whole evening of study, I realized how appropriate this moment was in light of what God's been teaching me lately:

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

I knew that the people sitting in a circle and watching me might be upset/bored/confused with the unstructured flow our night was about to follow. But God was the one I'd wanted to please. And He'd seen my hours of reading, research and work that had gone into the night. 

Surely, the God of the universe who expects us to be holy creatures can't be easier to please than man! But there's freedom in knowing that when it comes to pleasing God, I've got a handbook to follow. And the final word of that book is that even if I'd delivered a 'home-run' of a study in small group that night, He wouldn't have loved me any more than He already does!

Separation Anxiety

We live 5 minutes away from Terry's office. We're lucky, considering that Houstonians don't think it's unusual to drive an hour to work. One of the best things about our situation is that Terry occasionally gets to come home midday and eat lunch with us. He got to come home this passed Tuesday. Caleb was already sleeping, but I'd let Micah stay up and play a bit longer. We were both thrilled to hear Terry's key in the door. He's been working a lot and the boys are always saying how much they miss him.

He and Micah played for a while before it was time for Micah to head to bed for a nap. Micah hugged us both and went off to bed. About 10 minutes later we heard crying coming from the bedroom. When we went went in to ask what was wrong, our sweet-natured, 4 year-old sniffed, "I don't want Daddy to go!"

He had gotten himself all upset by realizing that Daddy would head back to work when his lunch hour was up. And, even though Terry was still in our home, Micah was upset in anticipation of him leaving!

Later that night I opened up my Bible to Hebrews 2:1 and read, "Therefore we must pay closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it." I thought the phrase "drift away" was an interesting one. It's more applicable than "fall away" or "turn away". To drift implies a slow, lazy, almost unintentional movement. And that's usually how it happens, isn't it? We slowly cut back on our prayer time or Bible time until we're completely neglecting God. Or we ignore our convictions on one tiny issue and before long we find we've long ago drifted across a line.

What if we had the heart of a child? Consider my child. What if, when faced with just the idea that we might soon be separated from our Father, we become heart-broken? Micah's tears for Terry's impending absence speak highly of their relationship. All Micah wanted was for Terry to be somewhere in our home, anywhere in our home, as long as he didn't leave to go back to work. Are we just that passionate about being in God's presence? Wouldn't it be great if after just one instance of drifting from God, we are shocked to see the space we've put between Him and us and we run back to Him full-force?

Terry was sad to see Micah's tears. But he was honored by the meaning behind them. I think God would feel the same joy the next time we throw ourselves on the bed and cry out that we just want to be in His presence!

From A Big Fat Nobody

Hi. My name is Sarah. As of today, August 17, 2011, I am 29 years old. I am married to Terry and we have two boys. Micah is 4 and Caleb is two. Micah would want me to say that he is 4 AND A HALF.

I am not new to the world of blogging. I've been doing it since I got pregnant with Micah. I chronicled our lives as we hurdled into parenthood. It's a silly, personally-edifying blog where I can boast about my children in safety!

In April 2010, I started a second blog about my cancer diagnosis. It was a diary of sorts for me where I vented about chemotherapy and distracted myself from nausea and hair-loss. Many lovely people read what I wrote and offered encouragement. You can read about this journey at http://www.28cancer.blogspot.com/. And, yes, there are a few bald photos of me there, too!

I am in remission now.

And looking for a way to better serve Jesus and His people.

After looking in all the wrong places, I'm starting over. From scratch. And I'm starting a new blog where I can come to do something I love, write.

I love Jesus in a real BIG way. And I've got FAITH that He'll use me because I'm willing.

I read a quote the other day that stuck with me. "We cannot let what we cannot know, destroy what we can enjoy." ("A Life Well Lived," by Tommy Nelson)

I can't possible know or understand how God can use a stay-at-home mom to reach anybody. But in the meantime, I'll talk to you about Him. And we'll see what happens. And for now, I hope we can just enjoy each other's company.